Saturday, February 10, 2018

One Rainy Day

Sometime in 2005 I started writing Elmer. I don't remember what it was that occurred during this time, or if there was any triggering event at all, but I started thinking about my parents and the growing fear I had at losing them. They were getting really old by then and I knew they didn't have that much time left.

It reflected in the writing of Elmer. In fact, it pretty much directed how that entire book came to be. At its very essence, Elmer is a reflection of the fear I had of losing my parents. I felt this way because I felt I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't ready emotionally. I dream of losing them and I wake crying.

In 2014 I lost my Mom. And just a few days ago on February 6, 2018, I lost my Dad.

I was in the middle of inking this panel when he died. Unlike my mom's death which took us all by surprise, my dad was failing for quite some time. It was really hard for him the last few days of his life. I wanted to tell him that it's OK to go and that I was ready, but by then his mind wasn't comprehending much anymore. I don't know, perhaps in a way he understood. Because not a day later, he did finally let go.

And it was true. I was ready. I don't have any parents anymore, but that's ok. Mom and Dad are finally together now. I think my mom's really happy about that. She's been waiting a long time. If I can tell them one thing, I want to tell them that they don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm doing OK. I'm in the best hands with Ilyn, and I will continue to go on with my life, doing what I love best. Comics. Making more comics.

My brother Noel. Saying our final goodbyes to dad. And just like in the movies, it started to rain.