Invisible

The other day me and Ilyn had a quick dinner at David's at Puregold here in San Pablo. As we were entering the place one of the servers opened the door to let my wife in. I was following closely behind her in my cane, but as soon as my wife was inside, the server let go of the door, closing it almost in my face.

Curiously enough, similar events happen at restaurants. Sometimes the servers would get my wife's order only and leave. Sometimes when it's me that asks for the bill, they always give the bill to my wife and almost always only talk to her. When I ask for the menu, they always give it to her. It's like I'm not there at all.

I don't think I'm being ignored because I'm mean... I'm never mean at restaurants or anyone who works there (unless they give me reason to). So I'm scratching my head whenever this happens. What could possibly be the reason?

Am I really just invisible? Like I'm not there? Am I so really visually insignificant that I'm easy to ignore?

It also happens a lot elsewhere, like when I line up for something. People always go in front of me like I'm a post or a part of the building. Like I have perfectly no reason to be there.

It happens professionally too. I'm a comic book creator but I spend a lot of my time as an inker. I've been inking for either Marvel or DC for almost 20 years. That's a long time, man. But up to this day I'm not sure if anyone actually knows me for it. I really haven't gotten any emails as far as my inking is concerned. I've never been invited to US conventions in my capacity as an inker. The comics press seems completely uninterested in what inkers have to say. Add to that inkers are no longer included in solicitations and only occasionally appear on covers. When I didn't get invited to the Darth Vader Annual signing at Greenhills last December, it really made me feel bad. It felt like my contribution was inconsequential, unimportant, non-essential. Invisible.

In spite of that, I still very much enjoy inking. It is the job of the inker to disappear anyway, and help the penciller reach the full potential of his or her work. I like to think I do that for Leinil and I hope to continue to do so in the future.

2016, First Post

Happy New Year! If you're feeling happy that is. I guess you can say that I am. Although as I get older, I find that I like firecrackers less and less. I used to be so gung ho for New Year's Eve when I was a kid. I loved firecrackers. I prepared my own for hours just so I can blow them up with glee come 12 midnight. I looked forward to New Year's Eve much more than I did Christmas because it was so much fun.

The fun started to go when people started making stronger and far more dangerous firecrackers. It seems that with each year they really pushed the limit. The firecrackers became so strong that they were practically mini dynamites. Fun for them, maybe, but not for me. Fun for crazy people. I'm an artist. I can't afford to lose limbs over this so I've stopped playing with them. I have already stopped many years go.

So many people, specially kids get maimed, hands and fingers blown off every single year. People die from stray bullets. Houses burn down. People just don't learn. That pretty much took the fun out of what should be a very happy, very celebratory time of the year.

I've also become much more sensitive to what dogs go through. I don't know. I guess it's Bugel. The damned dog is probably the most loving, most affectionate, most intelligent dog we've ever had. I started to think of dogs differently when I got to know Bugel. And to see her so tormented by the sound of firecrackers is heartbreaking. It's like she loses all sense and just goes ape. It's painful to see and experience. We try to comfort her as much as we can, but we can only do so much. It's a torment that we can't save her completely from.

Would I welcome a quiet New Year? Yeah, for once I guess I would.